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First, some back story. At the time my dad had a canoe that was big. And by big, I mean three feet across at the middle and longer than a full-sized pickup truck. He had bought it in the late 70's and had wanted something big enough to fit two adults and three growing boys. The thing was virtually unsinkable (more on that later), and inspired my dad and older brother to take it out into a lake one time with the intention of tipping it. They worked REALLY hard and eventually got it to tip.

Okay, back to our story. My dad had gotten the bug that he wanted a sail boat, but all he had was a canoe. Being the self-respecting redneck that he is, he decided to build a sailboat using the canoe as a base. The sailboat attachment was primarily constructed out of 2x4 lumber and consisted of a main sail made out of a blue tarp and secured to the boat with an elaborate wooden construction, a tiller and an outrigger.

My dad somehow convinced me to accompany him on the maiden voyage of the sail-canoe in the lake near our house, where we put it into the water and sailed out into the middle of the lake. (Note to boat test pilots: do your testing close to shore)

Things were going reasonably well and the sail-canoe was crusing along the lake under sail when my dad's USS Trenton hat flew off. (My older brother was serving in the Navy at the time on that boat.) This is when the bad things started happening.

Mistake #1: He turns around and watches the had fly off his head and hit the water.

Mistake #2: He takes his hand off the tiller and off the ropes controlling the sail.

Mistake #3: He prepares to dive into the lake after the hat.

Fortunately I kept my wits about me and started yelling at him at this point from the front of the boat, and he refocused on keeping himself and his kid alive. However, the damage was done and we tipped over and started to sink. The canoe did end up barely staying above the water and eventually righted itself once the sail had been removed. The problem was that we were in the middle of the lake with nobody around to help us.

Eventually, a power boat stopped by to rescue us and towed the sail-canoe back to shore. I could tell that the guy driving the other boat was really amused by the whole thing, but he had the decency not to laugh out loud at us. At least not while we were around. I don't remember if the sail-canoe was ever on the lake again, but if it was, I was nowhere near the thing.

He did eventually buy a real sailboat and his favorite activity was to go out on Sunday morning before church for a quick sail, tip, swear, swim, and shower, at least until he was banned from Sunday morning sailing trips by my mom.

He himself admits that he's no Dennis Connor, but this little fiasco had its ending written the moment he thought, "Ya know, I bet I could build a sailboat out of that old canoe."